straight-as-a-curly-fry:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

ok y’all 

how do i ask a boy out 

roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two

OH MY GOD NO

twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car

STOP IT

row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream

I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory

bombing:

noseblow:

bombing:

i’m on a seafood diet. i only eat seafood

that’s not how the joke goes lmao

do my weight loss goals seem like a fucking joke to you

what-the—heckie:

I don’t even know why I buy clothes I wear like the same 5 outfits.

thebitchpudding:

when you have a really good idea but don’t know how to do the thing

image

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

odins-one-eyed-fuck:

I’ve got
 image

and
 image

aint one

This has more notes than i ever hoped for and i still only have 99 followers

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

leander-ligo:

lordthundercox:

Yes, it does.

Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

I don’t even know why I buy clothes I wear like the same 5 outfits.

vvorldwideweb:

im like 60% sadness and 40% bad jokes